My hope shines through the darkness [ hopeless dreamer ] vers. 3.0

Mood:-tired
Listening to:-B44- Ball and Chain

Sick. Real Sick and tired of this history hwk crap. I hate the assignment this garbage teacher gives me. Its so pointless in my opinion. I wish he would stop doing this to us. Why rush us. Damn asshole. I did most of it. But i cna't do the rest. Pissed off. I need to get away fromt his crap.

I wanted to work harder, and I just get lost. I need to do better. But shit, really bad start. I get lazy way to fast. I need more drive. Drive damn it!! GIve it to me.

I hope I do better in other classes. Lets hope.
Stop worrying about other ppl, MEI!!. Worry about yourself. DO it. Its what you need. Lone time. Thing about your self.. come on..
MEi.

^______________________^

neko @ [ 10:45 PM ]

5.16.2004
Mood:-HAPPY
Listening to:-PC Tower- Humming annoyance

Okay. I know its been an amazingly long amount of time since I have posted here. I bet no one will even realize I will even begin to use this account. I don't really know what is making me even come here to post. When I have two other journals. to post in. But I have kind of missed posting here. This was where it all began. My posting legacy. But having the other journals AT LJ, just made my life all the more easier I guess.
I have been busy lately, with the end of year appraoching us. I can't wait for summer to start. I really think I need a break. And I need to start my school life with a clean slate again. I had been doing so well, and then I got all depressed, and it really began to bring my marks down. But no more. Next school year and I will be in grade 12. It is finally time I grew up. I need to take this whole school business more seriously. I need to realize that being the way I have always been is the one thing that has stopped me from expanding my horizons.
OKay now is the time that I need to make a pledge. A pledge to really get serious about school and work hard. I know I am a genius. I never did like admitting it. I barely evevn tell myself, because I am afraid it will not be true. But I know I am a very smart person. I just never tried. I never gave myself a chance to learn all that was being taught to me. But no! I am SMART. I will take the time from now on, to take my work seriously. I will study, and I will hand things in on time. My religous and school life will come first.
Work hard now, and in the future I will have a relaxing life. Then, when life really matters, I will have time on my hands to worry about my personal life. Not now, when I have things being taken care off for me.

As this "BLOG" as my witness, I will become great.
Neko.

^______________________^

neko @ [ 1:11 PM ]

12.20.2003
Mood:-crazy
For those who have been wanting to see me update.
If you haven't guessed it by now. I have had no time to update or do anything with Hopless Dreamer.
So this means this BLOG is currently on HIATUS!!!HIATUS!!!HIATUS!!!HIATUS!!!HIATUS!!!HIATUS!!!

But I do still keep posting when I have the time On my new LiveJournal.com account. I am not sure I will tell you what it is. If you really want to know just give me an email. Telling me you do. And then I will tell you. For those who already have an account, there it will be more useful for you to know, because even if you know my username, You need to be added as a friend to be able to view any relevant posts.

Neko.

^______________________^

neko @ [ 5:35 PM ]

11.28.2003
Mood:-HAPPY
Okay. so what happened to me this week? Umm not much. It was umm only very eventful was becuase of the holiday we had. But it seems the parties are still going on. Yep. I have another party this sunday. Well actually it is not mine. But my brothers. But I will most likely have to help. So yeah I will be doing that.

Next saturday I have to go this party. I think. I am not sure. My mom says so. But I am going to beg and try to get out of it. Next sunday I am going to have a little get together. My mother said I could. I am only inviting about 5 ppl. I mean, thats enough to keep a conversation going. But in truth I have no idea what we will do. Eh I guess We can watch a movie. But the main thing is the food. *sighs happily* I am going to help cook it. My mother is like the best cook ever. SO yeah *grin*.

Neko.

^______________________^

neko @ [ 5:35 PM ]

11.24.2003
Mood:-HAPPY
Listening to:-Fruits Basket Soundtrack- Momiji

Here is just something I found too amusing and just HAD to SHARE:You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'.

^______________________^

neko @ [ 5:35 PM ]

Mood:-HAPPY
Listening to:-Fruits Basket Soundtrack- Momiji

Okay. I am so happy today was the last day of fasting! Woo hoo! Now I don't have to fast anymore.

OKay no schoooooool fooor meeee!! I am so happy. I dun have to go!! Yeah yeah yeah! I am so woopin happy! you know why? tomorrow is PARTYYYYYYYYYY PARTYYYYYYY!! yeah man!! i love how the kids get there own room. And I get to hang out and PARTyyyyyyyyyy!!.. Yeah us kids get rowdy this time of year!! we are soo going to trash the place. We always do! And i got the coolest outfit. PLUZ!!
I GOT A NEW COAT!!! its sooo wicked!! I am so LUCKY!!! PARTY!!!

OKAY me go now.. i have to do some more things to get ready for tomorrow! A day full of celebration! And we party like THERE IS NOOOOOOO TOMORROW!!

NEKO PARTYING WITH KYO-KUN!!

^______________________^

neko @ [ 5:15 PM ]

11.22.2003
Mood:-hungry and happy
Listening to:-Fruits Basket Soundtrack- Opening(Lets Stay Together)

Once again here I am. I had wanted to blog many times this week. But tripodCOM was having a bit of trouble. Finally, now it has begun to work. Thank YOU so much, it was hell trying to get in!

Hmm.. Lets see, this week I missed alot of school. I was terribly sick. But now once again I am sick. I have a terrible earache, which was brought by a friggin pain in my jaw joint. You know the part where the jaw is connected to my skull? Well Its killing me! I can't open my mouth more then like an inch and 1/2. Its sucks. I have to take like these tiny bites. I hate wasting time on eating. That could be finished in like half the time.

My poster for art was officially due yesterday. But a few ppl had not finished so it was extened to I guess monday or tuesday. I have been lazy and have not gotten the little bit that needed to be finished. But since he extended it, its okay. SO the ppl who were done of the original date, get bonus marks. Which I am not one to go after. Sure it would prolly help me. But I can't, not in my nature I suppose. I know its pretty stupid, but eh,what can I do?

Well fasting is almost over. I love this time of month. I get new clothes, get to spend time with family and close friends. Its great. Plus, its like a whole new beginning. All the not eating is worth the happiness that comes with it. I am so happy when ever this time of month comes every year. The family really does get closer together. *sigh* So happy!

Well, in other news. I love Fruits Basket!! Kyo you still rule. I wish they would have more episodes with you in it, then Yuki. I mean its obvious who the REAL star is. Not that I don't like Yuki, its just that I like Kyo waaaaaaaay better! *glomps Kyo*
Man just imagine a real Kyo in real life. I swear to you, I would make a fan club for him. The all great Kyo. I wonder who woudl join though? Hmm maybe it will be the one-man fan club. I will be the memeber, the president, and secretary. All of it! I am soo COOL!! aaaaah! I think I will make a Kyo shrine. For once I actually want to make a Shrine for a Anime Character!!

Okay well, I have to go and help prepare dinner, with my mom. More guests are due to come over soon. Better get ready. Man This is the only time of the month that the house is clean 24/7.. I swear, with all these guests coming over like everyday!.. And ofcourse when we go over to there house. Heh heh hehe ^^;;.

Signing off, *neko glomps neko-kyo*
^______________________^

neko @ [ 1:15 PM ]

11.15.2003
Mood:-hungry
Listening to:-Fruits Basket Soundtrack- Opening(Lets Stay Together)

Yep. I am blogging again. I guess I should blog more. Since I don't... well not much anyways.
Umm.. Kaoru did show up after all yesterday, early too. Just as our classes were finishing there he was. AND he brought the vid-cam. Unfortunately, Hikari had planned some things with Jennifer a friend of ours. So they left like right after school. Norine also had plans for after school. But she came with us until the library before she went her seperate way.

So that left the three of us; Wolfie, Kaoru and I. When we were leaving school, I met up with my brother. So I had to get rid of Kaoru quick. SO he quickly went on ahead, with Wolfie. Norine and I slowed down a bit. And then we started to videotape Wolfie and Kaoru. It was fun. Since they were ahead of us, I started giving them dialogue. I had no clue what they were talking about for real. SO I started making it sound as if they really liked one another and were too shy to tell the other that. SO I made them have awkward speeches and stupid things that would make them turn red. I even went as far as giving them thoughts. You know .. what they were thinking in there head and what they really wanted to tell and do to the other. Norine and I were so cracked up. It was just too much fun, I wish the walk to the library had been longer.

Once we got to the library, I still had the vid-cam out though I wasn't planning on using it in the Library. We were just in the entrance I wasn't planning on spending much time there, I just wanted to drop of a book. And Wolfie had to do something there aswell. But since we were still in the library, and I guess we were still speaking loud, the Security Guard (he is this big fat guy, who is very ugly, and looks like he is a pervert) came up to us. He warned us to be quiet, which we did right away. And then he went on to tell us that he had to tell us to be quiet everytime we came. Which isn't true. The last time I had any run-ins with the guy was in grade 9. I remember that so well; as if it was yestrday..*flashback*. Kaoru, this girl named Esra and I, were there to this project, and we began to laugh and he came to tell us to be quiet...*end of flashback*
...Okay wait I am totally getting way of track here... ^^;;
Where was I..umm.. Oh yeah and the Fat Guy told us we couldn't use the vid-cam in the library. SO we quickly put it away, letting the guy know we had no intentions of actually using the thing. Which we didn't.. what he heck could you tape in a LIBRARY?.. The answer is nothing. You can't tape anything in the library.

AS soon as we did what we had to we high-tailed it outta there. I mean I don't need a child-eating fat guy, breathing down my neck. I mean NO THANK YOU!
SO once we got outside we just chilled and talked a bit. But you see we all had to get home before 5 or 5:30. Yep. So the time went by too quick for me. Before you knew it I was on the bus back home. It wasn't much fun. The ride back home was just a blur. I was too busy thinking about the food I will be eating soon. And the people I will be sharing my dinner with. OR I should be saying having.. not sharing.

My day ended with me falling asleep.. But the only difference was that it was 6:30 PM!!.. I dunno I just fell asleep. And I stayed alseep 'till 5:30 AM today. It was so weird, I felt all heavy and stuff. Man having that much sleep just isn't healthy. Unless your recovering from a deep sickness or disease.. or just recovering from some injury to the body PERIOD!..

Man thats enough blogging for now. I think I blogged enough to satisfy a whole circus show!.. Wouldn't YOU agree??

Neko*purrs*

neko @ [ 10:57 AM ]

11.13.2003
Mood:-hungry
Listening to:-M2M - Smile

Hey! I know..I know that I haven't blogged recently. And I did have complaints. Its just that I had no time to blog. Not only that, I had NOTHING to blog about.

Okay first of all, you may all have noticed that my version 3 layout is back up!. Ofcourse..! Its just that I really hated the last layout. I mean I abhored it! And this layout I really loved, just cuz of the whole shiny effect. *smile*..
Not to worry tis only temporary, luv. *nods*..

Well what is there to blog about? Well I got my report card today. Its only Mid-term. I can make up fp rmy terrible math mark. Yep I have a feeling I will be (hopefully *crosses fingers*) be doing better and getting a higher mark. *hopes*.

Yep I've been fasting for the last two weeks and I will continue to fast until November 25, 2003. I think.. or it could be a day earlier. Not sure yet ^^;;. Yeah it has been great so far. I love getting time to spend with family and close friends. Luckily I am not the type to get hungry when I don;t want to eat. Which means seeing others eat will not make me hungry. Which is good, since I don't want to have to leave my friends, just because they are eating.

Oh yeah! I have been watching the well known anime FRUITS BASKET! Yeah, for a shoujo anime it is really good! Man finally a shoujo anime I can enjoy. And trust me I am soo enjoying it. I mean who can not LOVE KYO!!
neko: *huggles poor Kyo-kun*
Kyo:*eyes go wide*
neko: Acck! a cute ORANGE Kitty!!
Kyo: Grr....*--__--''

LOL! Sorry for the little skit there. I just couldn't help myself. I hate Kagura for always beating up on him..!!
neko: *glares at Kagura*
Kagura: *galres at Neko*
Kyo: *sweat drops*

Stupid Kagura.. *growls*..*grumble-mumble*..

i am also reading the Volume One of Bandit King JING! Its really good too. Thanks to Hikari I am able to read it. Also thanks to Hikari I get to see some really good animes that she has previously downloaded. And is nice enough to let me borrow them!! *glomps Hikari* THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

Oh yeah! Kaoru, you better be coming tomorrow. I am psyched about you coming!! And don't forget to bring your vid-cam! Oh yeah Your getting let out early right?? You ARE.. you said so!!!

Okay me go now! Laters!!

neko @ [ 5:09 PM ]

11.2.2003
Mood:-sleepy
Listening to:-M2M - Mirror Mirror

Okay.. I have nothing to blog.
But since I have been blogging so much more less, I thought Just to put in any ol' post. Just to keep this place cobweb free and not so dead.

I really should not be on, since I need to finish Sketch Book for ART...
Its coming along fine. I just have been doing lots of things which are very personal to me in there. So I think, This one will be a private sketch book. Yeah so I apoligize too you ppl, who wanted to see it. I really want None of you to see it *nods*. It's for my eyes only (well obviously Mr. Gee's aswell).

I need more sleep, been eating better though. Thats an improvement. *sigh*

Laters, Neko.

neko @ [ 8:30 PM ]

10.31.2003
Mood:-sleepy
Listening to:-Nelly Furtado - Powerless

yeah thats right. today is halloween. at school i got dressed up very similar to the "mad hatter" from angel sanctuary. except for the white face paint. i didn' think i could out it on. you know how the face is suppose to be uncovered and all, at school. everyone at school that know me liked my costume. they thought i looked great. they said i did a good job. i'm glad. but at lunch i rubbed of the face things, though i stayed in the costume. everyone was like, why did u rub it off, and everyone wanted me to put it back on my face. i did it after school. and yeah.. i met a few ppl, who thought i looked cool, and there was a lot of stares.

I put it on kaoru too. he looked freaky. but very uke too. i dunno why.. but it suited him.. lol.

Okay laters, Neko.

neko @ [ 8:50 PM ]

10.26.2003
Mood:-abused
Listening to:-Billy Talent - How it Goes

Okay today is Daylight Savings.. Which means the time has been moved an hour behind... I guess in most ways this is good.. I think. This will make the days shorter? I think so, but I am too tired to find out if this is true.

Umm lets see, today I have to get my Psychology Hwk done. I'm doing pretty okay in that class. Though I know I can be doing a whole lot BETTER! So I am a bit pissed about that.
Oh yeah my brother bought the Lion King DVD. Yeah its the Platinum Version You know a collectable. Yep, I really love Lion King.. Its like the best Animated Movie.. LIKE EVER!!.. Dude, you have to so agree with me.. and if u didn't like it.. there is something seriously wrong with you..seriously..

Oh yeah! I finally burned the CD for Hikari like I told her I will. But today I just had the perfect oppurtunity to do it. Yess.. so Hika, sorry for the loooooooong wait..

I better go, I have like lots of things to do. I can't be caught Blogging.. I will be in lots of trouble..

Neko.

neko @ [ 4:50 PM ]

10.26.2003
Mood:-happy
Listening to:-Phanthom Planet - California

O whow. finally this layout is a bit more .. errrr. viewable? I'm not really done. The whole layout set up was sort of.. umm... rushed?
I know I have not blogged much. I just been way to busy. And then I didn't want to blog, cuz last layout was like major weak. And pluz it made the loading slower. Which was a major tick off. Dude, it like totaly sucked.

SO now that I have a new layout, by the which I really hate, I thought I should honour you all with a little post.
Anyways, Today on CTV they are having an " The OC Marathon"!!! Yes, its from the Pilot Episode which is number one - all the way to the latest episode they aired. And then on Monday they show a WHOLE NEW episode. Dude, like I am DYING to see it. I love that episode. OKay maybe it's just me but, the whole storyline is like slashy. Dude, you have to agree, there IS some major subext going on. It's like even more slashable then BWoC!. Here the writers are defninately giving us lots of ideas. I mean to me even the pre-commercials, made it seem like, The two friends have a thing going on!..If anyone noticed; my icon is them--->Ben Mckenzie and Adam Brody (aka.Ryan and Seth). Aren't they so HOT? LOL.. they make watching this show worth your while.

Well anyways my week has been way hectic. But you know what, I'm learning to get away from trouble, and cope with my crazy family. Yep so in other words I'm becoming more myself. NO more COMPLAINing. I realize too much bitching is soo "drama-queen"-ish.. If you know what I mean. But if I am pissed, I'm pissed, don't get me talking about it.. SERIOUSLY.

This coming monday, is the first day of "fasting". Yep I am so hyped about it. This is the one month out of the whole year, where being with famliy is not bad, and the FOOD is great EVERY NIGHT!!

Enough blogging for one day. Maybe I will again another day.. Bye...

Later days, Neko.

neko @ [ 5:35 PM ]

10.25.2003
Mood:-sleepy
Listening to:- none

WAIt still changing layout... Eew to this layout. I'll blog later. It slike 1:30 in the morning.

Later days, Neko.

neko @ [ 1:25 AM ]

10.13.2003
Mood:-sad
Listening to:-Simple Plan - Perfect

Johnny little rocket star flashing the label's credit card
His name is at the door but no one knew what for
Says he's got a strategy
I'm a test of his sanity
Wire cars and whiskey
Bad debts and dirty laundry

You can't even make up my mind
One more song the radio won't like

Reel it in and shut your mouth
Reputations are in doubt
Write a hit so I can talk you up
No one likes a girl who won't sober up

You can't even make up my mind
One more song radio won't like

So brush your hair and straighten up
Put down the drink you just got
Johnny little rocket star
Picked up a girl at the bar

So I keep my sanity
Wire cars and everything
I guess that we are through
The bad advice from you

You can't even make up my mind
One more song the radio won't like

Later days, Neko.

neko @ [ 8:05 PM ]

10.11.2003
Mood:-not a clue
Listening to:-Eve Six Here With Me

Yeah so nothing is really happening today. Except I was suppose to meet Norine at the library, while I was on my break from my weekend classes. But I got really sick this morning. Now I am better but I was not so good earlier. Yeah I would like to apoligize to you Norine, I am so sorry.

Umm.. well I feel a lot better emotionally now days. I wasn't so good last nite, but now I am okay.
Just sonfused alot. My emotions and feelings are changing rapidly. So its hard to keep up with myself.

Anyways, its currentlyt he first day of the long weekend. But I am way to busy to enjoy it. Having to visit pppl still, and damn projects I have to do, not to mention the tests that are coming up. Damn HWK! GO TO HELL YOU FUCKING CRAP I DON'T NEED!!...
sorry i had to say that. it had to be let out. just some steam i had to let out, before i explode.

Anyways, I know I've finally been blogging more frequently. Not that I have much worth saying, but yeah u get it. It nicer to have your OWN COMPUTER to blog in to. If u get my meaning.

Later days, Neko.

neko @ [ 8:05 PM ]

10.09.2003
Mood:-confused
Listening to:-None

Man I am feeling really confused now. I have no idea if I am happy or sad. I feel like multipl emotions at once. And then I don't feel anything at all. I really am confused when it comes to my feelings. What am I to do about them?

On to another topic.
The wierdest thing happened today. I got on the bus asfter walking Wolfie home. And i sat next to this women. Well at first I didn't get a good view of her. SO I assumed it was a her. She was in a dress and stuff. But when I looked over she ended up being a he! Holi shit, that was unexpected!
My thoughts were, HOLY SHIT I actually met a crossdresser! Whow, thats cool!
HE caught me apparently "staring". Man Am I Obvious. I was all like sorry. And I was about to turn away. He seemed really ambarassed. But he just gave me this nice smile and said he "Lost a Bet" to his friends, and now he was stuck doing this. I just smiled and asked what "this" was. And he said, well obviously dressing in women clothing, and riding the TTC. I just laughed and said that had to suck. Why didn't he just pretend to do it? And thats when the guy next to him leans over and looks at me and says, "THAT is precisely why I am on the bus with him. To make sure he does it!"
LOL. the guy dressed like a girl just winked at me. It ended up us talking, and he turned out to be 18. It was his first year in University. He goes to Ryerson or something. YEah they both were really nice. AND HOT!
The "guy's" name was Clark, and his friend's name was Tommy. We ended up exchanging hotmail addys. Eh. I mite add em. LOL. They ARE HOT afterall. And I am a hot-blooded teenage girl. LOL
Interesting eh. Yeah so thats about all I have to say. And Kaoru I hate that ur not coming!!*pouts*.

Later days, Neko.

neko @ [ 11:35 PM ]

10.08.2003
Mood:-tired
Listening to:- DJ Sammy- California Dreaming

Well, I had to go to school early today. I was so sure I was going to ignore UGH today. But it ended up with me talking to him. I can never keep promises to myself. OR I always do the oppiate of what I tell myself to do.

On other news, I didn't get to see the hot guy. He was no where. What the hell is with that. When I want to see him. I can't. How unfair is that!!!

We have to go outside for art tomorrow. But thats okay. the weather is suppose to be really good. It was today, so I don't mind going outside. Just as long as Nyasha brings her CD Player. I love listening to it. I burned her a CD with all our favourite songs. And I just love listening to it. Well no duh. I did burn her the songs I loved.

I think I am getting good t drawing people now. Well people keeo wanting to see it. So I guess I should be flattered. But I still hate when they look at my old work. I mean I know I can atleast do better than THAT!

And I still haven't gotten to see Kaoru. I miss him. I got a little chance to talk to him on the phone. But I had to go. I was hoping he was online when I came on. But nope he isn't on at the moment.

I ended up falling asleep after talking with him on the phone. I am just so tired. And I still am. But I had to get out of bed or I won't sleep at night. And thats not good, I have to go to school. Not that I want too, but still...

So anyways, I have to fix this computer up. I need it to be more comfortable. And this desk is so cut up. No joke for real. Oh yeah and I need to catch up on my anime watching. I have so many things to watch. Maybe this weekend. Since it is a long weekend. It being "Thanksgiving" and all.

Well enough blogging. I want to do some other stuff too. I hope tomorrow is a good day too. Its seems I have an ESP Meeting. So I guess I have to go to that. Eh. I just wish it was in a bigger room. There are too many of us. For us to fit in that small room we had last time.

Okay laters, Neko.

neko @ [ 7:30 PM ]

10.07.2003
Mood:-happy
Listening to:- Fountain of Wayne- Stacy's Mom

OMG. I have seriously have got to stop singing that song. I must be boring out quiet a lot of people. But come on Who doesn't think Stacy's Mom isn't funny? I mean it has to be so far one of the funnest songs and music video there ever was... Eh not to worry, I will get bored of it very soon.

Hmmm.. what did happen today? Well I had the math test today. It seemed okay. But just like I thought, I don't think did well on the problem solving part. Eh. If thats the case I lose ten marks. But hey I think I did pretty good on all the other things. SO I will be just as happy, if I only pass. Thats all I wish.

I did go to my library volunteering. It was pretty fun. I had the whole library to myself. I was happy. I don't know why.

We also had a stupid fire drill. By now you would think they know, we know how to quickly leave the building withou problem. Its like 6th sense to us. It should be, they do it enough to us. OMG! I keep sing this tall guy. I think he is very hot. To me anyways. I think he may even be better looking then UGH!.. I know surprising isn't it. But yeah thats the truth. I saw him during the drill, he was like right beside me. Man HE still looks hot up close. Some ppl.. they look better from far, and then when they are close up, they ARE UGLY!.. Or quiet not what you thought the first time.
Oh but the thing is, I see him alone all the time. During class switching, during lunch. I think its because he is new. I never saw him last year. But if that is the case, then he should have made friends by now. Oh well. Still yeah He was worth this lil post.

Yeah. SO recently I've been feeling alot happier. Its good too, knowing how recently I was feeling very crappy. But now its not quiet so bad. And I still swear, I dun care if it pisses you off. It helps keep the stress away. And I like to do what feels good. I am even taking the time to post a lot. I never do that. You can ask anyone. Yeah so, the family thing is still the same. But you know what? I got so used to it. I am "Desensitized" to it now. Yep. I got too use to it. I just pretend its not happening, or I am not even noticing it. I wish I good get "desensitized" to a lot of OTHER things. Yeah.

Neko. Back to being ME.

neko @ [ 6:12 PM ]